Ok, so Jackson and I came home to Orange County in order to receive the best medical treatment possible. I had been told by the best dr in blah blah blahblahblah that there is nothing left for me but knee replacements. At Dr. Gorab's office I go fresh xrays to check on deterioration. It was even more devastating than ever. My left knee looks like mush. My patella is completely stuck in my femur. There is so much arthritis that it is pushed down into my bone and glued there. There are sharp shooting edges all over the place and broken off cartilage everywhere. My right knee is not as bad but is on its way. So why you say wont he fix them? Well...mostly because of my age. I guess he has NEVER done one on anybody my age. He said that if I get it done now then I will have to get it done again when im 35-40. Ok, so I should just NOT LIVE till Im 35-40?
The Plan, per Dr. Gorab
He strongly advised that I lose as much weight as possible to reduce pressure....Well, DUH! Like I didnt know that and YES I just felt soooo darn good hearing that its MY FAULT for being in so much pain. If ONLY I was skinny, then my bone on bone knees would feel NO pain. Of course I would like to be as skinny as possible for many reasons and I am in the process. So yeah, not a fun thing to hear even though i agree with it 100%. Just sooo much easier said than done. I just feel like compassion for the amount of pain I am in is replaced by judgmental opinions about my weight. And for Petes sake, its not like I have been obese my whole life! No ONE gets knees like mine at my age without something being wrong...OTHER THAN WEIGHT. Soooo, as you can imagine it has been very emotional for me. A TON of tears. All I want to do is cry right now. Im not even sure exactly why anymore. Anyways, I am going to physical therapy 3 times a week as well as starting nutrisystem. Finally, If losing weight and cleaning them out doesnt work then he will think about doing them. He wants me to wait till 2011 when a new technique that he and his team is developing becomes available. Until then...Ill deal I guess
Im seeing another Dr in LA on Tuesday. Hoping for a more pro-active and compassionate experience.
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